Trip to Michael's Via the Pentagon

Or:  I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!

This afternoon I decided it would be fun to go to Michael's * alone * to buy some frames (big sale plus another 25% off).  And, I needed to get away on my own. Somehow, I missed the exit to Michael's.

How, well, I was screaming at my GPS (stupid thing doesn't understand a thing, like Walmart you have to say Wol Mart.  Really, so I named her Stupid Witch-only with a B).  Anyway, yes, I do know how to get to Michael's (Aaron and Parker kept asking too) I just wanted to pull it up on the GPS.  So while I was yelling and enunciating, I went right by the exit.  Great, no big deal, I could see Michael's so I took the next exit.  Now, in my defense it looked like it went right to where I wanted to be.  Nope!  Not only was it an entrance to 395 North, it was for the CARPOOL LANE ONLY! I sear to Bob, it did NOT say that it was the highway or carpool entrance.  Just looked like a damn road!

Now, if you get in a carpool lane on the Beltway, they go for miles with no way off!  So, I called Aaron, I was more freaked I was in a carpool lane and that I might get lost (stupid GPS just kept saying "turn around".  Really? See, Stupid Bitch!) Anyway, I call Aaron freaking out and swearing more than a truck driver. I hate driving, you all know this, especially somewhere I've never been.  Luckily just talking with Aaron calmed me down.

Finally the carpool lane ends.  And it ends about a mile from downtown DC.  Yup, I'm right next to the Pentagon Memorial.  I could see a Nordstrom to my left.  I almost went there, its my "Happy Place".  But I was in the right lane - of course!  Once the Stupid Bitch figured out where I was, she tells me I needed to turn right.  Now it was one of those right turns where you turn before the light and merge into the lane, you are not supposed to turn at the light. How do I know this, there was a sign that said so.  But like the Honey Badger, I didn't give a shit and I turned.  Made it back to 395 South and went to Michael's where I purchased 3 frames for an excellent price, and with out incident.

Now that I'm home Piper has puked all over me and is now screaming like a banshee.  I'm ready to leave again!